Just the beginning...

Well, here goes. My first blogger entry.

This is not something i am very comfortable doing, after all i don't consider myself a very good writer at all, but things in my life are changing. As a result, friends have been encouraging me to journal some of these experiences, not only for myself, but who knows, maybe my journey will encourage someone else. If nothing else, at least i can release some stuff that keeps floating around in my head.

you see, i am 36, single, and just about 2 months ago was told i have bilateral breast cancer. That's right, not just one, but 2 tumors...one on each side. I work in the medical profession, so i pretty much have avoided doctors offices as much as possible. I have always been pretty healthy, so it was quite a shock to hear this rather scary news just 5 days before my 36th birthday. Finding the lump was unsettling in itself, and then to hear a week later that things looked "suspicious" only to be sent for more testing, then surgery, and then wham, everything is different. Now when you fill out the paperwork at the doctor's office, instead of marking NO to all those nasty diseases, you have to mark YES to one of the nastiest of them all CANCER.

I have to admit, this has been one of the most scary times in my life, and yet i have mostly felt numb to the whole thing. And that is the reason for this blog site. To work it out, in a sense. To give the thoughts, emotions, and random ideas that float around in my head a way out. I hope you will bear with me during this journey...opening up and expressing myself has not really been one of my fortes in life.

You may be wondering about the title....it has meanings to me on several different levels. The one closet to the surface is that i LOVE whitewater rafting. I have been on 2 trips down the Grand Canyon, and have rafted a few of the rivers back east as well. Anyway, the rapids are great, very exhillerating, but they can also be very dangerous....especially if you try to stand up on your own power....you have to at least in some part, rest in the rapid to prevent hurting yourself.

The deeper meaning for me relates to my journey with Jesus Christ, my Lord, Savior, and friend. This newest challenge is part of that jouney, and He is teaching me to rest in Him during all of this. So that will be a large part of this blog site as well, what He is teaching me. Those of you who know me know of my desire to serve God in the mission field, and the calling i feel i have received to go and do this. Well, this is part of my preparation... at least that is how i am looking at it. what better way to understand people who are suffering than to suffer something completely life changing yourself. I will be able to serve Him better by serving the people He loves with a greater understanding after persevering through this current challenge, or should i say class 10, huge waterfall of a rapid i am facing.

So come along with me, if you would like. If not, that is okay too. Like i said, this site is for me to get things out of my head, but the journey is more interesting when other people come along.

In Him.

anne